Teachable Moments for Teenagers

Counseling Teens in Pleasanton

Everyone can relate to a parent’s frustration with their teen who’s agreed to do a certain chore but doesn’t follow through.  Teens often will agree to what they don’t really want to do in order to get their parents off their proverbial back.  We get it because we’re asking them to agree to do something that we really don’t want to do ourselves but for the sake of the collective good (ie. emptying the dishwasher, folding the clothes, mowing the lawn, washing the car) we make the sacrifice and do it.

When your teen doesn’t follow through with a chore they’ve agreed to do rather than emotionally letting your temperature rise realize that this, among many such instances, presents a teachable moment regarding the importance of words and deeds matching.  When your teen agrees, in word, to do a chore but there is a lack of follow through with action there’s a problem that’s bigger than the frustration of the moment.  On a bigger picture scale, trust and reliability in another is tied to the consistent experience of word and deed matching up.  When your teen doesn’t follow through on what they’ve agreed to do, you’ll experience a moment of disappointment that you will eventually get over; however, the cumulative effect for your teen becomes more about what your teen is doing to him or herself versus you.  The teachable moment lays in the self-introspection regarding how your teen sees him or herself when there’s a consistency in a lack of follow through and truly, how others may see them as well.  When any individual consistently fails to follow through with what they’ve agreed to do, this is a character issue.  Clearly, there are more serious issues that could reflect on your teen’s character than not following through on chores, but this moment presents an opportunity to plant a seed for your teen on a bigger life scale regarding the importance of congruence between word and deed.

Contact Lorena Duncan, Marriage and Family Therapist in Pleasanton for teen counseling session appointment.

Contact Lorena for Teen Counseling in Pleasanton

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